I can hear booming earsplitting laughter all around me. As I walk I see bright light`s shining everywhere. A sweet smell come`s out from a little candy floss shop I can see the sweet fluffy pink clouds with sparkles on them I feel excited to go on the zig-zaging roller coaster when I get to the top of the ride I feel sick I feel like I am going to fall out the carnival is a fast moving music filled fun place to be.
I like how you didn't say earsplitting music you said laughter
ReplyDeleteand I like how you explain what you see
you could improve by writing a bit more about the carnival
star: i like how you used the word earsplitting
ReplyDeletestar: i like the way you described the candy floss
rocket: next time i think you should check your punctuation